When I was fifty years old, my job was a high pressured, stressful position, causing me to have “stress” related seizures, resulting in me losing my job and my home.
I became very depressed and did not want to do anything, such as socializing with family or friends. I went into an “Internal Shell,” blocking anything and everybody. My family and friends tried to pull me out of my severe depression, but it only worsened. The more depressed I became, the more seizures I would have.
I became more withdrawn and held all my feelings in, thinking in time I could pull myself out of this deep state of depression. I could not have known how wrong I was. One day I just “Exploded,” throwing things, screaming uncontrollably and rocking back and forth. My wife called an Ambulance and I was taken to the Hospital, in which the Doctors called Community Mental Health. A Social Worker came to the Hospital and evaluated me, telling the Doctors I needed to be sent to a Psychiatric Hospital. I was hospitalized and given numerous drugs that were highly addictive. Through time I became an “Addict.”
Hospitalization, Community Mental Health, Medications, my wife, children, granddaughter and friends gave me the strength to move forward.
My most vivid memories were when (after numerous medications and hospitalizations, because of the medications) my medications got regulated and I realized what all the medications had done to not only myself, but my family and friends. I was “Literally” out of touch with society and could not see it until my medications finally got regulated properly and I came out of my continual “ZONED” state. I could finally see what my family and friends saw all along. Some of my accomplishments are that I sought help by realizing I was an Addict and sought to go into Detox myself.
I am now more like my “Old Self.” I am outgoing, enjoying my boat, golfing, playing pool, watching the Nascar races, my extreme Nascar Collection, watching football, spending time with my wife, my children, my granddaughter, my friends and my involvement as Director of our Drop-in Center.
I want people that are like I used to be to know my story and see that there is always hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.