The last time I shared my story, I talked about some of my childhood experiences, my illness, where I lived, and the things I like. I still like my peace signs for they represent the peace, love and happiness I seek all my days of my life. And with depression this is hard to find sometimes. Doing a lot of self talk and going to groups and stuff helps me a lot.
Since the last time I shared my story, a lot of positive things have happened. I moved from a very small apartment to a bigger apartment down the street. I love it. I have a boyfriend and he has been a great help with me and my depression for he does not judge me, but tries hard to be understanding. Three of my grandchildren who were out of my life for many years are back!
It has taken a lot of hard work to get here, but being patient has been the hardest thing! I still have days where I feel like I am going to fall into the bottom of the pit for no reason. That is part of my illness. When this happens I try real hard to think of all the good things in my life. I’m not saying it is easy, but anything worthwhile isn’t always easy. It is still very hard for me some days, but what I learned is that I have to force myself to do things sometimes and, most of the time after I do, I feel good that I did.
Number one – never give up! A lot of folks do not understand depression and how hard it is to struggle just to get out of bed even when from the outside things look fine. Even my kids don’t get how being depressed makes you feel even if things around you seem fine. With me, I learned to put a front on so that one knows how I am really feeling. I may seem fine, but feel horrible inside. But I love my friends and family and I need to carry on for them. So fight is what I must do. I may fall, but the main thing is to pick myself up and start all over again and again. And the main thing is to be patient and tell yourself this too will pass over and over and in time it does for a while. Never give up the fight!
Love of our friends and family, have peace in your heart, and to be happy, is all worth fighting for! I was lonely for a long time before my boyfriend came and even with him sometimes I feel alone, but I am not. There was lot of pain when my grandchildren were gone. With the grace of God they are back and they now have to learn all about patience too! And not to give up! We have to fight for things worth having like family and friends and life in general.
Peace, love, and happiness to all.