Coping Skills for the Holiday Blues

It’s at this time of year that we think about the things we have to do in order to get through the holidays. For many of us, our coping skills aren’t up to par the way they should be, so that we think before reacting, or so that we cope better throughout these stressful times.  In addition, many of us are having a hard time economically, which can increase the stress we have to deal with. I’d like to take a few minutes to share with you some material (from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the American Psychological Association, and Mental Health America) which I shared with folks awhile back as a refresher to help you with daily coping skills for these holiday blues:

Holiday blues can affect both men and women, young and old. Factors contributing to holiday blues include increased stress and fatigue, unrealistic expectations, too much commercialization, and the inability to be with one’s family. The increased demands of shopping, parties, family reunions, and house guests may also contribute to tension and sadness during the holidays. Common stress reactions during the holidays include headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating or not eating enough, and difficulty sleeping.

A post-holiday let down, resulting from emotional disappointments during the holiday months as well as the physical reactions caused by excess fatigue and stress, may cause holiday blues to continue into the new year.

For some people—particularly those who live in the northern, darker regions—holiday blues may be caused by seasonal affective disorder (SAD). SAD results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months.

If you are experiencing holiday blues:

  • Establish realistic goals and expectations for the holiday season, and do not label the holiday season as a time to cure all past problems. The holidays do not prevent sadness or loneliness.
  • Limit your drinking.
  • Do not feel obliged to feel festive. Accept your inner experience and do not force yourself to express specific feelings. If you have recently experienced a tragedy, death, or romantic break-up, tell people about your needs.
  • To relieve holiday stress, know your spending limit and stick to it. Enjoy holiday activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations. Go window shopping without buying anything.
  • Express your feelings to those around you in a constructive, honest, and open way. If you need to confront someone with a problem, begin your sentences with “I feel.”
  • Recognize that life brings change. The holidays don’t need to be just like they were in the “good old days” to be enjoyable. Develop some new traditions. Celebrate the holidays in a way you have not done before.
  • Find time for yourself! Don’t spend all your time providing activities for others.

If someone you know is experiencing holiday blues:

  • Try to involve that person in holiday activities, but don’t be forceful.
  • Be a good listener. If people express suicidal thoughts or feel depressed, hopeless, or worthless, be supportive. Let them know you are there for them and are willing to help them seek professional help. Never issue challenges or dares.
  • Familiarize yourself with resources such as mental health centers, counseling centers, and hotlines.
  • If the depressed person is chronically ill, express that you understand that the holidays do not cure the illness.
  • Be aware that holidays can be difficult for people, especially when reality doesn’t measure up to their expectations. Help them establish what is realistic and what is not.

Perhaps it will help you to remind yourself:
Flexible things don’t break!