In 1995 I found myself not being able to sleep most nights. I lost interest in life at home and things I enjoyed. I had to force myself to play with my two-year-old son and desperately waiting for him to take his nap. I began to have suicidal thoughts daily; this hadn’t been a problem […]
Even as far back as the 70’s, it was apparent I was much different from the other kids my age. Not trusting authority, my view on the world was well tempered by messages from the counter culture of the time. Not feeling close to my family or anyone else for that matter, I spent a […]
When you think of an ideal childhood setting, what comes to mind? For me, lots of room to run, lots of siblings to double as friends, loving parents, good values and strong faith. That was my childhood. I did not recognize until I was much older that my childhood also came with a misconception of […]
It was 1979. I was in a private college. I was heavily into drugs – cocaine, hashish, pot, and acid. What pushed me over the edge was speed. I took a lot. I didn’t sleep for two weeks. I had a psychotic break. I thought I was the messiah. I went down to Illinois to […]
It all started on February 14, 2002, Valentine’s Day. My wife wanted out, and the night just got worse for me. I wanted to end my life. I started to jump into a bottle of booze and filled a needle full of insulin. Then I had a blackout from the booze which went on for […]
I grew up in a very abusive home where I learned to keep secrets, how not to trust or communicate, and that I had no self-worth. As a result, I have been diagnosed with chronic depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PtSD), anxiety disorder as well as borderline personality disorder. On the positive side, I learned how […]
As long as I can remember I have been anxious, or as some might say, a “worrywart.” My very first memories are of a child of four or five having stomachaches every morning before school. Sometimes they were so bad that my mother would allow me to stay home from school. This was a rare […]
When I got married I assumed I’d eventually become pregnant and give birth to children. Two or three years later I learned that was not going to happen. So my husband and I adopted a baby boy and then, a few years later, a baby girl. We were happy and busy taking care of our […]
The beginning of my struggle with mental illness started when I was molested at age 10. This started a downward spiral of depression that was diagnosed at age seventeen. A series of unfortunate events happened to me over the next ten years. The job that I had maintained for twenty-three years had suddenly closed; I […]
I am forty-four years old, a father of four, and I have a fiancée. I was first diagnosed with a mental illness in my early twenties after a nervous breakdown. The local psychiatric hospital diagnosed me with a mood disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and post-traumatic stress disorder. I had daily thoughts of suicide and I […]
Ever since I was a child it seemed that my life has been surrounded by conflict and drama. My father was a very abusive man in all aspects of the word. My mother would come home to him passed out from drugs and alcohol, and I was upstairs turning blue or having some sort of […]
I was born into a beautiful family. My childhood was peaceful, secure and happy. I graduated from high school with honors, ranking 16th out of 450 students. I was involved in numerous activities. I have always been a leader. All my adult life I was an independent person. I have a husband of ten years […]