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“One starts an action because one must do something.” – T.S. Eliot


Elizabeth: Cries for Help

My name is Elizabeth. I’m 27 years old and have a five-year-old daughter. I also have a loving fiancée.

When I was about 7 or 8 I was adopted by my biological grandfather. My life wasn’t easy. I was teased and called names at school and I was overweight. I noticed when I was in middle school I was really always depressed and suicidal. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I saw a doctor who diagnosed me with bipolar depression and I was put on meds. Since then I have been in and out of AFC (adult foster care) homes.

At the age of 21 I became pregnant. Nine months passed and I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I couldn’t take my daughter home with me because I was living in an AFC home and didn’t have a stable environment to bring my daughter home to. I was told that either DHS would take her away from me or I had to sign over guardianship to a person I thought I could trust. I was young, and scared that I might lose my daughter forever, so I went with my heart and signed limited guardianship over to someone I thought was a friend I could trust. I was promised by this person that I would get my daughter back when I got my own place and income. I basically became an adult quickly. I have been on my own for 4 ½ years and have my own income and my own place with my fiancée. I still don’t have my daughter back and the guardian makes sure to see that I never get my baby back.

My life has been hell for the past 5 years of my daughter’s life. My heart aches constantly and I am constantly reminded how bad of a mother I am to my daughter and I will never be a part of her life. I’ve been in and out of court for 5 years now, same old story. Every time I get a lawyer to represent me they make the case worse than it was to begin with. One of my attorneys walked out on my case and didn’t come back. So here I am back at square one with less time seeing my daughter.

I will fight for my daughter as long as I live. My daughter means everything to me. People say God won’t give you more than you can handle. I look at this situation with my daughter and it strengthens me. I’ve been going to Club Cadillac for 8 years for support and I have lots of wonderful friends there. At Club they accept me for who I am.

I have a wonderful fiancée who’s been by my side through my ordeal with my daughter. I must say life is good. I’m surrounded by people who love me and support me no matter what. I just want people to know they are not alone with whatever they are going through. Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. My dream someday is to have my daughter and be a family and have my own home.

Recovery Learning Communities – June 2008 meeting materials here! Language of Recovery – Hope is at the center.

The June Learning Community agenda focused on the language we use, specifically when we talk about recovery and stigma. In learning about the language of recovery, the group started with the official Northern Lakes CMH definition and how you can use that as a starting point for yourself. The group discussed that there are many other definitions too. The definition that fits for you is the right definition for you. The group also talked about how the path to recovery is not a straight line. There are ups and downs, advances and setbacks.

Included in the "language of recovery" are Things that Help You Heal:

  • Friends & support
  • Self-determination & choice
  • Education & awareness
  • Goals
  • Responsibility
  • Change
  • HOPE

HOPE is really important, because hope fills our hearts as we gain belief that we can recover.

  • Hope helps develop a belief that “Yes, I can Recover!”
  • Others are recovering and so can I
  • Hope can make dreams come true
  • Hope lights my mood
  • Hope helps me make changes

What do people hope for?
Housing, clothes, money, entertainment, travel, education, employment, friends and family, less suffering, peace, hope, dignity, respect, joy, serenity, calm, happiness. Notice in this list hope is listed. Sometimes all we can do is hope for hope. A small glimmer of hope can get us started on the path to recovery.

“The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast and you miss all you are traveling for.” – Louis L’Amour


Helen: My Story

I was born in Manteca, in northern California, and raised in southern California. When I was a baby my dad took me away from my real mom. He wrote her a note telling her where I was and she never came after me. He said he thought he saw her once, he was not sure. He did remarry as I grew a little older. My stepmom was jealous because I was Daddy’s little girl. My dad was a heavy drinker and so was my stepmom. They spent most of their nights at the bars. Her youngest son and I were left alone a lot. When they would get home, they were always fighting like cats and dogs, physically and verbally. When I was five years old I was going out the front door to catch the school bus. My step mom pushed me down in the driveway.

I remember one time I was in the bathtub, and I thought my dad was not at home. I got scared when I got out of the tub. I went to look for my dad, but he was not there. I then ran outside looking for him. Then I heard my dad say get back in the house, he was trying to find someone to watch me. Someone came up to my dad and offered to watch me. I did not even know who it was and it was dark out.

My dad worked in the oil fields. His friend that worked in the oil fields in Huntington Beach tried to take me on a trip one time. I kept telling him I wanted to go home and use my own bathroom. I was sexually abused.

I moved into a foster home when I was eight years old. I remember I was at school one day. I was walking and talking with my friends when I ran into a metal pole and my glasses broke in half. I told my foster parents that my glasses needed to be fixed but they never got them fixed. My foster father started feeling me out after I started developing. I went through high school unhappy all the time. I was afraid to say anything at all. When I was 18, I moved back in with my dad. My social worker at that time told me if I would have told her sooner she would have gotten me out of there right away. Moving back in with my dad did not work out very well because he was always in the bars. I got a hold of my caseworker and told her I wanted to move. She took me to look at an apartment. At that time they needed my dad to sign papers. My dad did not want to sign them. Then she took me to look at other group homes. I had found one that had two people in it and I ended up moving in. I moved around quite a bit when I lived in Southern California.

In the 1990s, my dad’s girlfriend’s daughter called me and told me that her mom passed away. She said that my dad had started back up drinking again. She asked me if I would come to Bakersfield, California, for a couple of weeks. So I took a bus to Bakersfield and was there for almost a month. Then I went back to Southern California and I was there for a few months. I talked to my aunt and she said Grandma wanted me to move closer to her. So I had a talk with my dad and he moved me in with him for a while.

I had to be hooked up with Kern Regional Center. My dad is now deceased.

Now I live in Michigan. I moved to Farwell, Michigan, with Betty and Becky, Leslie, and Kathleen from Mojave, CA. When I first came to Michigan I was very happy to be with them because I felt like they were my family. Betty had promised my dad before he passed away that they would take care of me. I lived there almost a year. Then I moved to Manton, Michigan, to an AFC home. I found out about Club Cadillac through my case worker. When I first came to Club I was afraid what people might think of me. I started working in the Clubhouse snack bar. I worked there for a couple of months. I have been filling out applications to work at either McDonalds or Burger King. Then I started working in the clerical department, and I made new friends. I like working in clerical because I like using the calculator and working with money. Also I like answering the telephones. I just started bowling for the Special Olympics. I really love to bowl. I like my new friends at Club because they help me when they can and I try to help them when I can.

A Change of Heart, by Anna Marie Lawrence

An instrument of peace begins with equality.
An instrument of peace creates trust.
An instrument of peace shows fairness.
An instrument of peace can start
With a change of heart.

Dreams, by Anna Marie Lawrence

A dream catcher
Catches a dream and
Makes it happen

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France


Recovery, by Anna Marie Lawrence

R – Relief from mental stress.

E – Enjoyment of life.

C – Connection to friends.

O – Outgoing personality.

V – Vision for the future.

E – Energetic throughout the day.

R – Recapture your mental health.

Y – Yes to life.

Recovery Towers Provide Focal Point

Materials are flying out the door from the new recovery "towers" that have been placed in each of Northern Lakes CMH office lobbies. Be sure to check the tower each time you visit as materials are always changing.

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If you or someone you know is at immediate risk of seriously harming themselves or someone else, call 911.


 

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